At last, Lev laughed. "I sound foolish, don't I? "

"You don't sound foolish." Kolya felt slightly embarrassed, as he had been thinking something along those lines, beginning to feel irritation at Lev's endless good nature.

"You're too kind. But I know how I must appear. It's just that all this seems so fine, so fascinating to me. I don't know how much Alyosha might have told you about me?"

"Not a lot, actually."

"Yes, he's not one for gossip." Kolya was again made thoughtful by the way in which Lev spoke of Alyosha, the fierceness of the warmth in his tone. But still, that heat seemed purely innocent. "The truth is, for a large portion of my life, all of this--" He moved his open palm in an arc, indicating the greasy diner and all the world beyond. "--was denied me. From a very young age, until relatively recently, I was in a state somewhat like a coma. Aware of nothing, lying in a bed, fed through a tube, drooling on myself. And time passed me by, and life passed me by. No one knew quite what was wrong with me, and so there was nothing they could do to help me."

"I'm sorry," said Kolya.

"Don't be. I wasn't aware of anything, so at least I wasn't aware of anything being wrong. A few years ago, however, I snapped out of my condition as suddenly and inexplicably as I had fallen into it. I awoke to find myself grown into a man-- overnight, it seemed to me. All my friends, too, had grown older, and they were strangers to me. The world had altered entirely. It didn't seem like the real world to me anymore. It was as though I had awakened from a long sleep into a strange nightmare. Rather a difficult sensation to convey to someone who has never experienced it, you realize."

"I can't imagine," said Kolya, feeling chastised for what he had been feeling earlier, although Lev's intent was obviously not to chastise him.

"I was rather disoriented at first. But once I found my footing again, I was able to strike up new friendships with my old friends and also to meet new friends, such as Alyosha and his brothers. Somehow-- by chance, you might say-- I happened upon singing as a way to make a living. Meanwhile, my doctors, grim creatures that they are, had nothing but gloomy predictions for me. The cause of my former vegetative condition was unknown, and they prophesied a relapse at any moment, as my recovery was too complete to be believed. But, their grim nature aside, what the doctors said made sense to me. I believed them, believed my newfound life would be a temporary one. So I determined to enjoy myself at all costs, always aware that at any moment my life might be taken from me again, that the least shock might cause me to revert to that state of sheer idiocy, seeing nothing, hearing nothing, feeling nothing at all." He smiled, in good-hearted self mockery. "A very dramatic story, isn't it? But true, I assure you. And that is why I seem rather silly to most people, a little 'too much', as they say. But I am enjoying myself, and I don't have time to feel badly about what other people think of me."

"I didn't--" Kolya began, coloring.

"I know you didn't. I just wanted to tell you." Lev smiled. "Ah! And here is our food." Kolya realized all at once how hungry he was. "Should I order the takeaway burgers for Mitya now, or wait until we are finished?" Lev asked. "Ah, I think I'll order them now. We don't want to keep Mitenka waiting too long."

"Those girls," said Kolya, once they were both well into their meals-- Lev carefully chewing mouthfuls of his vegetarian burger, Kolya having already devoured his burger and halfway through his fries, "they called you-- Prince Myshkin?"

"Oh, that." Lev laughed the soft, self depreciating laughter he seemed to use to convey his sense of his own ridiculousness. "Yes, they did. I am sometimes known as Prince Myshkin, and yes, I do have a few drops of what is known as 'royal blood'. I don't like the concept. Grades of blood, noblesse oblige-- such foolish things. But that is my heritage. Of course, being a prince in Russia is rather meaningless these days, is it not? I don't know why people started calling me that. Some idea of the record company, I suppose." Lev shook his head. "They have so many ideas. I indulge them for the most part, although of course I will refuse if they go too far. People confuse geniality with stupidity sometimes. I do not consider myself stupid."

"No, you're not stupid," agreed Kolya. "That's easy to see."

Lev had ordered hot tea with lemon, and he cradled the teacup in his bare hands as though to soak its heat up into himself. He took a sip, smiled. His eyelids lowered halfway. "You're very kind. How strange that we've only just met, for I'm already immensely fond of you."

Something in Lev's eyes reminded Kolya of when they kissed, and he glanced away, embarrassed. "I'm not kind at all," he said. "Not in the least."

"Oh no? What is it that you are, then?" Lev's tone was playful. "What makes you unkind?"

Kolya considered. He did not know how to answer Lev other than honestly. "I'm selfish," he said. "And envious. And petty and mean."

"I don't know anyone who isn't all of those things in some way," said Lev. "I fail to see why such traits cannot take up residence in the same house as kindness." He laughed that soft, self mocking laugh of his again; it was different from and darker than his usual laughter. "Didn't Mitenka darling tell you, when you and he had your private counsel, that I too was selfish and envious and petty and mean?"

"Yes-- he did say something like that." Again, Kolya could not lie to Lev.

"He was quite correct, of course-- but why should we be censured for our faults when we all have the same ones, or near enough? Isn't it better to be gentle with ourselves, to allow ourselves to see our strengths? If we look only at our weaknesses, sooner or later, we will be unable to see our good traits-- and no one else will be able to see them either." He paused. His deep voice grew lower, until Kolya could barely make out the words, as they were almost drowning in the depths of that voice. "Sometimes I think of the secrets my heart holds, the things about me no one else knows. Thinking of them, I am a little kinder to myself, knowing I must bear such secrets. I know the hearts of others hold such secrets, too. And I am a little kinder to them because of it."

Kolya said nothing, not certain how to reply to this little impromptu speech. But Lev did not need him to reply, and he laughed again. "But listen to me. You must think me a philosopher, or worse. It is a great fault of mine that I must always say what I am feeling. But I do think you are kind, no matter what you say. That you listen to me so attentively and with such patience is an act of kindness in itself."

Kolya felt a slight pressure on his knee. He saw that Lev had put down his teacup and was reaching across under the table. At the touch, he found himself aroused, and this confused him. There was something about Lev, his childish simplicity, perhaps, which made the idea of sex with him seem unthinkable, yet at the same time, there was something intensely sexual and desirable about him as well. Kolya could not make sense of his dualistic nature. Lev smiled at him, and if there was something of an invitation in the smile, Kolya could not quite puzzle out the specifics of what it was he was being invited to. "Oh. Well, it's nothing really," Kolya said, then, moved to a feeling of chivalry, perhaps by Lev's feminine looks, he added, "My pleasure."

Lev withdrew his hand. The waiter arrived with the extra hamburgers Lev had ordered to bring back to Mitya, and Lev thanked the man prettily, inspiring a confused flush on the waiter's part. "I do hope Mitenka will enjoy these," said Lev once the waiter had departed, still flushed. "I didn't mean to ruin his lunch. I seem to be prone to making missteps where he is concerned."

"What is it that you did? That first made him so upset with you?" Kolya was emboldened to ask by the familiarity he felt they had developed over lunch, as well as Lev's openness.

"Oh-- you'll think ill of me, I'm afraid."

"No, I won't."

"Ah, but you don't know what it is I did yet."

"It can't be worse than anything I've done, believe me."

"Well, all right. I'll believe you, then. And I'll tell you." Lev pushed his plate away, his food half consumed. He seemed to be a light eater, which was no surprise, judging by the slenderness of his form. "It happened at a record company party. That was how I first met Alyosha and the others, you see-- we were on the same label. They've since moved on to another label, but that's beside the point. This party... It was something of an unofficial party, and as such, a little less formal and a little more wild than such parties usually are. People were drinking-- perhaps too much? I don't drink myself, but Mitya was certainly drunk. Even Vanya was a little tipsy-- quite a rare occurrence."

"I'll bet." Kolya had never seen Vanya take so much as a sip of an alcoholic beverage.

"Alyosha was not there. He had a cold, if I remember correctly. Probably the whole thing would never have happened if he had been there. I would have been talking to him the whole night, and I wouldn't have gotten into trouble. Ah well. There is no changing the past." Lev gave a sigh before continuing. "Pasha, however, was present. Another rare occurrence, as he hates those parties. Someone had convinced him to go, I suppose."

"Yeah." Probably Mitya, Kolya thought, having seen more than once how quickly and completely-- albeit resentfully-- Pasha would give in to his elder brother.

"So there was dancing, and there was drinking. Mitya went off somewhere with some girls, and somehow I ended up alone in a corner with Pasha. Pasha was drunk too. He must have been drinking a lot, in fact, because I'd never seen him that way before. I could tell he was very upset about something, and Pasha usually doesn't show what he's feeling. I tried to get him to talk about his problem, but he wasn't able to speak coherently on the matter, so I changed the subject, trying to cheer him up. And then it happened." Lev sighed again.

"Sometimes," he said, "I just can't help myself. The strangest feeling comes over me. Like a fire in my throat. Or maybe it lives down deeper, in my stomach. It's nothing conscious, nothing thought out. It's something like hunger. Suddenly I was talking to Pasha about Pasha, telling him things I'd never told him before, how highly I thought of him, how sorry I was we weren't better friends, how I only wanted him to be happy-- Then somehow, we were together. In each other's arms. And I was kissing him and touching him, and he was responding, kissing me back, and maybe I got a little too carried away. Not that we really did anything, but I forgot where we were for a little while."

Kolya could see where this story was leading. He waited for its inevitable conclusion.

"Then," said Lev, "Mitya came back."

"I see," said Kolya, unsurprised. He could imagine what must have happened next.

"Mitya is very protective of Pasha, and I'm afraid he misinterpreted my behavior. He thought I was taking advantage of his brother, and he told me so. Vociferously." Lev stared at the bag full of hamburgers for Mitya, his expression full of unspoken sorrow. "He hasn't spoken a cordial word to me since. Of course, if I'd known it would destroy our friendship, I would never have done any such thing, but unfortunately, it is not always given to us to know the consequences of our actions."

"Yeah, unfortunately," agreed Kolya sympathetically.

"We should go," said Lev, rising. "Mitenka would certainly not appreciate being brought cold food." Kolya watched as he took out his wallet and left a hundred dollar bill as a tip.

***

"Thanks," said Mitya grudgingly, snatching the bag of hamburgers from Lev's hand once he and Kolya arrived back at the apartment. "Took you long enough. Goddamn, I'm hungry." He tore open the paper bag, and without bothering to take a seat, pulled out a hamburger and commenced inhaling it.

"You're welcome." Lev smiled, taking off his coat. He stood watching Mitya eat, his hands folded behind his back.

Mitya stopped eating. "I can't eat with you staring at me, weirdo."

"I'm sorry," said Lev, and looked away.

"Now you're just standing there," Mitya complained. "Can't you sit or something? Or go away?"

"Give it a rest, Mitya," sighed Kolya, exasperated. "Leave him alone."

Mitya glared. "I see," he said slowly. "So he's turned you against me?"

Kolya threw up his hands. "No! You're just being irritating! What's wrong with you today, anyway?"

"I see," said Mitya again, hurt. "I'll just go eat in my room then, shall I?" He stormed off.

Kolya rolled his eyes. "Ugh. I should go talk to him, I guess."

"That's fine." Lev took a seat on the couch, crossed his legs. "I'll wait here. Someone else should be home soon."

Kolya didn't bother knocking. He opened the door to find Mitya seated on the edge of his bed, staring at the floor. His burgers were on the nightstand, forgotten. He looked up as Kolya walked in. "Traitor," said Mitya. His heart, however, did not seem to be in the word, and his eyes were hopeful, like those of a dog who only wants to be petted.

"Lev told me why you don't like him," Kolya said.

"Did he really?"

"Yeah."

"And of course, you believed him."

"Well, yeah-- I did, actually."

"Of course you did. Lev is so polite, so sincere, so doe-eyed and perfect. Who wouldn't believe someone like him over a brute like me?"

"Mitya, that isn't fair--"

"I'm not angry at you," Mitya interrupted. "Never think I'd be angry at you, just because you believed something that little snake in the grass said. I mean, that's understandable. He's got a snake's silver tongue. But I wish you'd at least listen to my side of the story."

"I'm listening," said Kolya. "I'm here, aren't I?"

"Yeah. You are. Okay. I'm not good with words or anything, but--" Mitya closed his eyes, took a breath, then opened his eyes again. "Lev found out. About Pasha and me. Kind of like you did. I guess I'm not good at keeping anything secret. And when Lev found out, he got-- he got really angry at me. You can't imagine how angry he was. I mean, I couldn't have imagined it before I saw it, saw him like that. He's usually all sunbeams and sugarcubes, you know? But he said some fucking horrible things about me. I can't blame him for that. Most of what he said was true. But then he got this fucking crazy idea in his head. He was going to be all noble-- a real prince, you know?-- and save Pasha from me. So how does he decide to do that? He gets Pasha to go to this party-- I don't think you understand how easy it is to get Pasha to do anything you want him to, if you know how-- and once Pasha is at this party, Lev convinces him to have a drink."

Mitya paused. "Of course you're not gonna believe me. Hell, I almost don't believe me, and I was there. But that little bastard-- I am fucking positive-- slipped something in Pasha's drink, and once Pasha was good and wasted, Lev tried to seduce him. I didn't even know Pasha was at the fucking party! He hates those fucking parties! When I saw him there-- and when I saw Lev on top of him, just like he was on top of you, today, I fucking lost my mind. I just-- lost it."

Kolya waited a moment before saying anything in reply, waiting to be certain Mitya had finished his story, which apparently he had, because he said nothing more, just fixed Kolya with a slightly sulky look. "So you don't actually know if Lev put something in Pasha's drink."

"Oh, I know."

"How?"

Mitya smirked. "I asked fucking Pasha, that's how. If you want to know, you can ask fucking Pasha yourself. See what he has to say about Lev Myshkin."

"Pasha--?"

"Yeah. And you know as well as I do that Pasha wouldn't ever say a damned thing to protect me from anything. At this point in our lives, I wouldn't be surprised if Pasha framed me for a fucking murder."

"I don't know who to believe," said Kolya.

Mitya was grave. He made no attempt, however, to convince Kolya that his story was the true one. "There are a lot of differences between me and Lev. But the biggest one is, the people I love, I really love. Even if I have the most twisted, fucked-up way of expressing it, I fucking love them. Lev Myshkin only thinks he loves people. But he doesn't actually know how. He lives his life in some kind of crazed dream world. He scares me. It scares me that anyone thinks the way he does."

"Is Pasha home yet?"

"Sure he is," said Mitya. "Pasha's almost always home. Almost always just a few feet away from me, but it might as well be eighty thousand miles, right?" He laughed, but his laughter was indicative of no change for the better in his mood. "Go on, ask him."

"But I don't think he'd like--"

"Go on."

Against his better judgment, knowing he should simply stay out of the matter, Kolya found himself, a moment later, knocking on Pasha's door. Pasha answered the knock almost immediately, throwing the door open wide. He regarded Kolya with undisguised irritation. "What?"

"Uh-- Lev Myshkin is over for a visit. Do you want to talk to him?" Kolya was not sure how he could broach the necessary subject, which was by no means an innocuous one.

"No," said Pasha. "I certainly don't."

"You don't like him?"

"No," Pasha said again. "I certainly don't."

"And why is that?"

Pasha stared. "You're rather rudely inquisitive, aren't you?" he asked, following a brief, startled silence. "You realize, I was not consulted about you coming to stay here, and I still don't approve of your presence here. I don't know what you're up to, making yourself all cozy with my brothers, but I don't like it."

Kolya was hurt by what he saw as unwarranted hostility. He hadn't said anything wrong. Stung, he rose to the insult. "It wasn't my idea for me to come here," Kolya replied, knowing as he spoke that his words were chosen with the purpose of provoking Pasha. "It was Mitya's."

"Mitya's just full of bright ideas, isn't he?" Pasha replied. "Bright ideas and bad taste."

"Yeah, his taste certainly isn't the best."

This reply seemed, strangely, to satisfy Pasha, as though he had been waiting for Kolya to say it or something like it. "I see. I wonder what you are attempting to imply with that remark. That the same bad taste which inspired him to choose you as a friend made him choose me as a lover? Is that it?"

"No, I wasn't--"

"I'm not afraid of the subject, if that's what you thought."

Kolya's next words bore the flavor of remorse. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said--"

"Why don't you just leave me alone and fuck Myshkin? I'm sure he won't object. And he's the next best thing to Alyosha, after all." Pasha smiled viciously. "I'm not mistaken, am I? You do want to fuck my little brother, don't you?"

"No! I don't--"

"We all have subjects we'd rather not have brought up, don't we?" Pasha inquired with a raised eyebrow. "Although now I'm sorry to have compared Lyosha to Lev Myshkin. Lev's not worthy of the comparison." With that, Pasha slammed the door in Kolya's face. Kolya stood there for a full minute. He sensed that his question, all unspoken, had somehow been answered. He sensed also that Pasha's answer to it agreed with neither Mitya's nor Lev's.

Kolya returned to Mitya's room shamefaced, only to be greeted by Mitya's laughter. "I heard the whole thing," Mitya confessed mirthfully. Now it was his turn to laugh while Kolya glowered at him. "Fucking hilarious. You really don't have any idea of how to deal with Pasha, do you?"

"Neither do you!"

"Oh no, I do. I'm just bad at putting my knowledge into practice. Still, I'm the one he calls his lover, not you. Can you believe he actually said that? I've never heard him say that before. Lover. That sounds a lot better than what he usually says." Mitya was speaking with ridiculous speed, gushing like a schoolgirl with a crush.

"He didn't mean it as a compliment. You're sick," Kolya spat.

"I won't argue with that." Mitya shrugged. "But for future reference, the last thing you should ever do is insult Pasha. It just won't work. It only makes him angry, and he's very clever. Lots more clever than you, that's for sure. He knows just what to say to hurt someone's feelings. It's like his gift or something."

"What a nice gift."

"He doesn't mean anything by it."

"Well, now I don't know what to think!" Kolya cried in frustration, entirely confused by the whole situation.

"Oh, just go and spend some time with Lev, all right?" said Mitya, waving Kolya away with his hand.

Kolya blinked.

"You'll see. I have faith that eventually I will be redeemed, in your eyes at least."

"Redeemed? I wasn't condemning you."

"You know what I mean. Vindicated. Or whatever."

***

Lev sat waiting for him on the couch, hands folded neatly in his lap, his legs crossed, one over the other, looking the picture of a gentleman in his tailored ink-black suit, and the picture of a lady with that face of his. "How is Mitya?" he asked.

"Mitya's fine."

"I'm glad." Lev unfolded his hands. A silence passed between them before Lev spoke again. "You seem like you want to ask me a question."

"I do?"

"Go ahead. You can ask me anything."

"Okay. Well." It was true; Mitya had planted a seed of doubt in his mind. Kolya did not know, however, what question to ask. He did not know if the matter was his business at all. It had happened long before he had come to live with the brothers. Did it concern him at all, or was he simply being, as Pasha had put it, rudely inquisitive? "What if three different people gave you three different accounts of the same event? How would you decide which was the true one?"

"I wouldn't," Lev replied. "I would consider that the accounts represent three distinctly different viewpoints, and that the event itself was completely removed from these viewpoints, happening on its own, somewhere else, now unrecoverable. But then, I am inflicting my own viewpoint on this question, aren't I? Does it really matter, in the end, which account is true?"

"I don't know."

"Actually, I think I know what event you're referring to," said Lev mildly. "I never claimed to be anything other than what I am." Kolya remembered what Lev had said in the diner, about all the secrets of the heart, the things no one knew, and how that made him treat others more gently. Kolya wondered what Lev's secrets were.

"What if you could make up with Mitya and Pasha? Would you?"

"I would. I would even admit to a mistake. You see, I believed myself strong enough to save someone else. But I am not. I don't know if anyone is. Are there truly any saints in this world?"

Both of them turned then at the sound of a key in a lock. An instant later, the front door opened, and Alyosha breezed through it. He seemed strangely luminescent, standing in the doorway, dressed inexplicably in an outfit Kolya had never seen him wear before: a purely white suit with a white shirt and white tie, his pale blue eyes seeming almost white as well, his only real color his fair skin flushed with the cold. Lev, dressed in his black suit, rose to meet him. Kolya stood back, watching the two approach each other, somehow opposites, yet somehow just alike. "Oh, Lev," Alyosha exclaimed softly. "What a surprise!"

"I've been waiting for you," said Lev, enveloping his friend in a sudden, fierce embrace.

Alyosha returned the embrace, wrapping his arms around Lev's waist. "Not long, I hope? Ah-- I see Kolya has been keeping you company." Alyosha smiled at Kolya over Lev's shoulder, and Kolya returned the smile, even though he felt all at once as though he was coming apart inside.

Lev pressed his lips against Alyosha's cheek. "Yes," he murmured, "he's been the perfect host."

Alyosha extricated himself delicately from Lev's embrace. "Excuse me-- I'm still in costume. I'll change at once."

"Costume?" asked Lev, passing his regard slowly and attentively over Alyosha's body. "Is that what this is?"

"Yes, I'm acting in a play. It's a charity event. We had our first dress rehearsal today."

"And what part do you play?"

Alyosha blushed-- or was it just the high color that the cold had given him? "An angel."

Lev laughed. "You were well cast. Anyway, you look lovely. There's no need to change."

"But it isn't very comfortable." Alyosha tugged at the collar of his shirt, loosening his tie. "I'm not like you. I'm not used to wearing this kind of thing. It'll only take me a minute to change."

"I'll come with you," Lev offered, too quickly.

"Oh no, I'll be fine," Alyosha laughed. "I assure you, I dress myself every day with little difficulty." He held up a single finger of his right hand, the index finger. "One minute," he said, and was gone.

Kolya and Lev were left alone together again. They regarded each other, and Kolya could sense that something had abruptly, irreparably changed between them. Had it changed for the better or for worse? Or had it merely changed to something different, no better, no worse? Lev smiled, tilting his head slightly to one side. Kolya saw he had betrayed himself to Lev, but Lev had also betrayed himself to Kolya. "I would," said Lev slowly, "rather be friends than rivals."

Kolya nodded.

"There is something-- something I don't understand-- binding me to this family, to these four brothers. You feel it as well, don't you? Perhaps it binds you too."

Kolya nodded a second time. He did not know what to say. He felt extremely uncomfortable. Part of him wanted to retreat to Mitya's room, to the safety of Mitya-- unstable, yet perversely predictable Mitya. He did not know what to make of Lev Myshkin at all. Lev was a new factor, unquantifiable, an unknown. But Kolya did not yet retreat. "Perhaps," he said.

Before either of them could say anything else, Alyosha had returned. His suit gone, he was wearing a soft grey t-shirt and blue jeans, his feet in navy blue slippers. "Back," he said simply. "I hope you two have been having a good time today."

"We have," Lev assured him. "We went out for lunch." A flicker of irritation passed over his features. "Oh, we forgot to bring you something back!"

"That's all right. I've eaten already." Alyosha seemed completely oblivious to the subtle, yet, to Kolya, painfully obvious tension in the air. Kolya saw how Lev watched Alyosha, hungrily. Kolya felt that hunger echoed in himself, echoed and amplified. Kolya suspected that Lev's feelings were as hopeless as his own, but he could not help but experience what was to him an agonizing stab of jealousy. Of course, if Alyosha was ever going to choose between them, he would choose Lev. Lev was older. Lev was more beautiful, more charming. Lev had known Alyosha longer. Kolya felt plain and awkward and stupid in comparison. He had absolutely no claim on Alyosha's affections. He was just some kid with an idiotic infatuation.

"What's wrong?" The sound of Alyosha's voice startled him from his thoughts. "Are you all right?"

Kolya gave a start, staring at him bewildered. "Yes. I'm fine."

"Are you sure? You just went so pale." Alyosha reached out, his fingers casually brushing Kolya's cheek, frowning in concern.

"I'm fine," Kolya repeated, wincing. It's not like I'll ever tell him how I feel, anyway. I'll just swallow it. I'll stifle it. I shouldn't be feeling this way anyway. It can't be right to feel like this towards someone who can never feel the same way about you. Again, he remembered what Lev had said in the diner about the secrets of the heart. This time, instead of considering Lev's secrets, he considered his own. "I'm just-- tired. Maybe I should go lie down for a while-- or something." Alyosha probably wanted to spend time alone with his old friend. Kolya would just be some kid, getting in the way. "It was nice to meet you, Lev. Have fun." He couldn't make himself sound sincere.

Alyosha seemed confused, and Lev visibly hurt, but Kolya didn't have the heart to talk to either of them anymore, didn't have the strength to puzzle over what the two of them were thinking or feeling. They were both so unlike him, better suited to each other. "I'll talk to you later, okay?" he said.

Mitya was still in his room, laughing like some mad old man in a story, dining on the last of his hamburgers. But he saw Kolya's face and stopped laughing immediately. "Hey," he said. "What's wrong, kid?"

"I don't know. Nothing. Everything."

Mitya nodded, stuffing the last piece of hamburger into his mouth. A moment passed before he could speak again. His lips were coated in crumbs. "Love sucks, doesn't it?"

"Yeah. It does."

"Or maybe it's just life that sucks," mused Mitya. "I can never really tell."